dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
