yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
