and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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