so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
