wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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