North Korea, Best Korea!
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
