So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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