i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
