You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
