There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
