Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Shame - the story of my life.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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