We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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