I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize