I could have mohawked her pubes.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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