A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
