I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
