Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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