I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize