if i can run in heels then i can drive
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
