So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
