somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
