I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
