Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
