Small penises have feelings too.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
