Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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