and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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