she woke up with a sticky ear
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
