turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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