Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
