mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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