i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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