I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
birth control should be required to get into college
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
