I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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