marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he fucked my hip out of place.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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