So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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