you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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