I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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