Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
