I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
