oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize