I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize