just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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