worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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