They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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