Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
