No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
