i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
