If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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