he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
