tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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