Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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