I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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