My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
