Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
