bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
even my farts smell like vagina
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
