I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
