It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
