i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
