States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I want her autograph on my taint
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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