i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
