So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize