Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
