he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
