people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
