Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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