marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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