We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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