I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
